Sticks, Stones and Building Up
Once a year, at a little country church outside of Petersburg, there is a service called Homecoming, which is followed by a pot luck. At the right you see the cover of the bulletin from that service. Each year, a former intern of Pastor Larry Cantu, is the guest preacher for that service. This year I had the privilege.
Larry is the pastor of Grace Lutheran Church, which was my internship site. Below is the message I preached based on Ephesians 4:25-5:2.
How many of us
growing up have experienced teasing or even what today would be considered
bullying? Inevitably, there would be a parent or some other authority figure
like a teacher, when they hear our tale of woe, would repeat these words, “Sticks and stones
may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
If that’s the case, then why do such words hurt us? Any of us who
have lived long enough know the potency of language. How we relate and speak to
others impacts every part of the lives of those around us.
This is the
point Paul is making in this portion of Ephesians. The Gentile Christians Paul
wrote to were living in a network of new social relationships because of being
in Christ. They needed teaching about down to earth behaviors which are spelled
out in this passage.
The main theme
of Ephesians is love and how it is expressed by God toward us, us toward God
and our relationship together as the community of faith. That last piece is a
bit of a struggle for us. We are very independent people who like to do things
ourselves. We don’t need anyone else’s help. But, as Paul teaches, we are interconnected as
brothers and sisters together in the family of God.
In this part of
the letter, we are given dos and don’ts
of life together in Christ and we are given the reason, what our motivation
should be for living in this way. The emphasis throughout this reading is not
obedience to a set of commandments but rather the communal responsibility for
building up the body of Christ. Paul gives us quite a list of dos and don’ts on how to live life together as the family of God.
The first is to
speak truth with our neighbor. Truth in everyday personal relations speaks to
people of our character. It is often assumed that people say that which is good
for themselves, what is for their own advantage. Notice how this concerns not
just fellow Christians. Strangers, non-Christians, all with whom we come in
contact will see the way a Christians’ speech is dedicated to truth rather
than self. This becomes a powerful witness of Christ.
The second
exhortation concerns anger and sin. There are times that anger is appropriate,
but we must not let it control us. Anger should not be a fixation that we keep
harboring in our hearts. We are not to “let the sun go down” on
our anger so we don’t give room to the
devil. The community of faith itself is a sacred space whose boundaries may be
violated by the devil. Paul appeals that Christians beware of forces outside
the Christian community that are capable of undermining and dividing the
community. This opens up God’s
people to the influence of evil powers. For those who may wonder about the
existence of “evil powers,”
just watch the news or
read the paper.
The third
exhortation is that thieves are not to steal, but to work with their hands.
Then they will then be able to share with those who have a need. The warning
against stealing is not only a matter of individual morality or honest labor.
It is assumed that those who have an abundance of this world’s goods will share with those who are less fortunate.
The fourth
exhortation also regards speech. No unwholesome word or evil talk is to come
out of our mouths. Literally, this means speech that is rotten or decayed. This
means we have to give up our favorite pastime, namely gossiping. There are
several reasons Paul gives concerning why we should watch our words: so that a
need may be met and to give grace to the hearers. Our words can be a gift to
one in need. Appropriate language protects and builds up the community of
faith. The last reason given is that we are not to grieve the Holy Spirit, the
seal of redemption.
Isn’t there something vaguely familiar about the idea of being
marked with a seal for the day of redemption? We have these words in our
baptismal liturgy. The one who has been baptized hears that they are, “Sealed with
the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ forever.” If
we are baptized, this has already happened in our lives. We just need to live
it, to become who we already are and let God work through us!
It’s not enough to speak nicely to people, if we are simmering
on the inside. We can say and do the right things while harboring evil in our
hearts. Paul writes that Christians are to “Put away…all
bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all
malice” (v.
31-32). Malice refers to wicked intent. As God’s people, we are not only to be purged of such evil, we are
also to “be kind to
one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has
forgiven [us]” (v. 32). Are you serious? Pastor, do
you mean we are supposed to forgive like we have been forgiven? Yes and there
is more.
We are
instructed to be imitators of God. Paul has titles for people that have a moral
kick in them. He calls the Ephesians, “children of God.” Because
of this, we are called to imitate our Father’s loving nature. What God has done and continues to do in the
gift of Christ is our incentive to behavior that reflects that of our Father.
As a church, we are reminded that we are a redeemed, ransomed community, like
ancient Israel and that we are summoned to reflect the holy character of our
redeemer God.
As Christians, we need to pattern our behavior
toward others, after God’s,
whether they are Christians or not. God’s
people are called to imitate the life of Christ as a whole, summed up in his
suffering on the cross, representing his unselfish sacrifice for others. Christ’s love for others is God’s love. Our present lives are to be lived in anticipation of
the realization of the will of God in the end. The Holy Spirit claims us now
for the future so that our present life is defined in relation to God's future.
God has not told us, “Be good” and
left us on our own to figure out how to do so.
What is our
motivation? Our motivation is to build up the body of Christ. What we do is for
the sake of others.
That is why Paul makes this point so strongly. Rather
than tearing down others with our words, we are called to build
them up. Rather than hurting and hindering, we are called
to strengthen, uplift and support. Rather than angry recriminations,
vengeful accusations and harmful actions, we are called by our Lord to
kindness, appreciation and forgiveness. (David Westphal)
In other words,
we are to live with and respond to others as our Lord does with us: with grace,
mercy and love. In that way, not only are we building up others, we are
building up the body of Christ.
Amen!
Resources;
Charles Cousar, Texts for Preaching: A Lectionary Commentary Based on the NRSV-Year B
Margaret Y. MacDonald, Sacra Pagina: Colossians, Ephesians
Ralph P. Martin, Interpretation: Ephesians, Colossians and Philemon
sundaysandseasons.com
Charles H. Talbert, Ephesians and Colossians
David Westphal
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